A Note on Dracula 3D, A Dario Argento Trashfest circa 2012

DRACULA 3D is stunning in its dunderheaded unintentional hilarity in every possible way. It reminds me of Roger Ebert's review of Shyamalan's THE LAST AIRBENDER where he said something to the effect of it fails in every way possible and ways still waiting to be invented. I'd heard of Argento's career plummet in the 2000's, but wished (and still do wish upon broader examination) that the fall marks mostly a mainstream betrayal, a failure to recognize the artist's contemporary worth. This not seeming to be the case, I did however, by no means not enjoy myself while watching DRACULA 3D. The glossy, clay-like sets and digital furnishings are oddly, mysteriously pretty. The film is overflowing with a bad soundtrack, characters committing an act and then informing the audience what they have just done (perhaps a fault of the dubbing, I shall admit), hissing nude women, praying-mantis metamorphoses, and laughable cgi